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Hi! I'm Emily Howard. I'm a junior at CU Boulder studying History and Spanish with minors in Dance and Jewish Studies and a certificate in LGBT Studies. Due to my focus in many different areas, I can easily adapt skills I've learned to a wide variety of situations and needs. I have experience in research and archiving, especially regarding historically marginalized groups. As an example, I worked with Norlin Library to help arrange the Boulder Gay Liberation archive last semester so that the previously ignored queer history of the campus could be made more readily available to CU students and the larger Boulder public. I am passionate about amplifying marginalized voices and making sure that all people have the power to tell their own stories. I am also passionate about making information more widely available so people from all walks of life can access it and educate themselves. I'm looking for ways to apply my passions to practical work in the information sciences and to use my previous experiences in research and archiving to help empower marginalized groups and make historically buried stories accessible to everyone.

On finding balance...

As students explored their definitions of success, some of the main facets of “success” that came up for this group were: (1) finding balance, (2) being a changemaker, (3) embracing life pivots, and (4) overcoming obstacles. In preparing for their final showcase, students reflected on one of these aspects and how they related to this aspect of success.

What is your story around this topic?
I’ve always struggled finding a balance. In high school, I had no balance. I went to school, then I’d come home and study for 8 hours. I’d sleep, then start over. Being valedictorian mattered so much to me that I neglected every other aspect of my life, convinced that I only mattered to people because I was smart. Then I graduated as valedictorian. And it did nothing. I ended up at the same college with the same scholarships that everyone else got. I had worked so hard for nothing more than a medal; I didn’t even get to give the speech. My world view was shattered, so I decided to make a change. Once college started, I started reserving time for myself and my social life. Being the perfect student got me nothing, so I’ve been working to find a balance where academics still has a place in my life, but one that doesn’t overpower everything else. It’s a work in progress. 

What have you struggled with in regards to this aspect of success?
I definitely struggle finding time for myself. I feel guilty if I’m not productive, so even if I’m not doing schoolwork, I feel compelled to get ahead on homework or clean the apartment or make something else. I need to get better at prioritizing my own health. 

Where have you shined on this aspect of success?
I have definitely gotten much better at balancing school and a social life. My relationships are so foundational to me and I always make the time to talk to the people I love. 

What tools have you found to be helpful in navigating this aspect of success?
I read an article on burnout that said “If you don’t take time to take care of yourself, your body will make time,” meaning that if you don’t rest and push yourself too far, eventually, you’ll get sick or injured and you’ll have no choice. Remembering that and moving past the myth of laziness is helpful. Taking rest days and making time for yourself isn’t lazy or selfish, it’s vital. Another thing that has helped me is not overexplaining my reasons. If I tell someone I’m unavailable, unless I made a prior commitment, I don’t owe them an explanation. I’m allowed to say no and not have to explain why. Also, my therapist told me about the six categories of self care and thinking of balancing those helps too (practical, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social). 

CHANGE Collective program reflections

Embarking on this program 

I was nervous for the first session, but pleasantly surprised with how it went. Everyone we got to meet was so nice and I’m excited to get to know them better. It was also nice to talk with Jim and figure out more of what I’m doing, although I am worried that I don’t know enough anthropology to be qualified. I guess I’m just nervous that I’m not going to fit well and that I won’t be good at my job, but I know that everyone starts somewhere and once I’m shown what I’m supposed to do, I’ll be fine. I hope that throughout this process, I’ll gain more confidence in myself and my own abilities, as well as hands-on museum experience. I truly did love DMNS so so much and I’m excited to be back in a museum.

Mid-year reflection 

Adjusting to this job definitely took some time, but now that I have, I’m really enjoying it. The main struggle I had was fitting it into my schedule, but now that I’m into the swing of things I feel that things are going very well. The past few weeks, I’ve been helping to put together fossil kits so we can mail them out to schools. While I wish I could be interacting directly with the students/visitors, I’m happy to be contributing to something that helps students get exciting lesson plans with hands-on components. I know I would’ve loved to get one of these kits when I was in school!

I also really enjoy being a part of the Change Collective. It’s so nice to have that support network that I’m guaranteed to meet up with at least every other week. All of the other members are so kind and supportive, it’s such a lovely environment to work in. I know it’s unavoidable because everyone has class during the day, but getting out late of the CC meetings on Wednesdays isn’t ideal. Still, I know it can’t be changed and I’m so grateful for those meetings in every other regard!

I definitely have improved my time management throughout this experience. I’ve had to learn how to balance this internship with another internship at the library, with schoolwork and classes, with some health challenges I’ve been facing, with household chores, and with self-care and rest. It’s been a difficult balance to find, but I think I’ve finally started to get a handle at it. I’ve also learned new things about fossils just by putting together the kits! Overall, this experience has been a very rewarding one that I’m excited to continue to grow from.

Final program reflection

What are you most proud of?
I’m most proud of myself for getting out of my shell and making connections with my coworkers, since I usually have a harder time opening up.

What was the best thing you gained from this program?
The best thing I gained is a better understanding of myself and my goals for my future and how my version of success doesn’t have to align with what others say it should be.

If you were to recommend changes to the program, what would you recommend? What didn't work so well for you? Feel free to consider the structure of your museum job, the bi-weekly sessions, the microcredential requirements, how you were hired. 
I would recommend either being more aware of time so you can get out as scheduled or scheduling more time so you’ll just know to expect to be there longer.

What about this program would you recommend keeping the same? What worked really well for you?
I would recommend keeping the assignments mostly the same or keeping at least similar prompts. I’d also recommend keeping the interaction between coworkers the same so they have the chance to bond in a less professional, more informal way.

How do you hope to build upon what you've gained from this program (including any insights around the types of work or experiences that did not work for you)?
I hope to continue following my passion and staying true to my definition of success. I also hope to continue allowing myself to open up to new people and opportunities.